For Nicole Holofcener, a family is made up of the ones who love you. It is the ultimate form of attachment and the most difficult to sever, because to love someone is to know that he or she craves the same understanding you do. 
Shame isn’t about depraved sexual predilections or scarred wrists; it’s about the shame of wanting to run away from who you are and the things that made you that way—and the compounded shame of having those feelings in the first place.