Dear Diary

(assembled from altered lines from Heathers; directed by Michael Lehmann, 1988, screenplay by Daniel Waters)

I don’t really
like my friends:
and Diet Cokeheads.

I got paid in puke,
no fags allowed.

You were a Bluebird.
It’ll be very.
You were a Brownie.
Fuck me gently.

I love my dead.
What’s your damage?

You were a Girl Scout
with a cookie.
You were a chainsaw.
Oh the humanity.

Our love is god.
Let’s cherry slushie.

A nice little swordfight
in your mouth.
My teen angst bullshit
has a body count.

Great paté
but I gotta motor.

Are we going to prom
or to hell?
Color me stoked.
Get crucial.

I suck big dicks.
Jealous much?